Happy Birthday to me :)
Ok, well, it's a little late. My birthday was a week ago exactly. And I'm now officially a quarter of a century old. Argh!! I must be getting old - I'm no longer officially 'youth'!! I don't FEEL any different... but I do have this nagging inkling as I type this that maybe by now I should have sorted out what I'm doing and where I'm going a little more... actually, even as I type that I know that in truth I am pretty happy right now with where I'm going and what I'm doing; and I'm learning to trust the universe in that the future will take care of itself. When I think of my life now, compared to a year ago, I marvel at how much happier I am - working in a job that I love, with so much less 'certainty' or 'security', but also with so much less to tie me down - so many more doors to open. The constant rejection involved in pursuing acting or art in general as a career and vocation can at times be disheartening; but to offset this, is my growing realisation that I can make anything happen, if I have big enough vision.
For instance, only a week ago (just after my birthday), I realised that Dav and I could possibly perform at the Edinburgh Fringe... so instead of just thinking about it, I've started to look into it, and it might just work. I'm not sure what I'll get out of it, apart from a chance to perform in the largest fringe festival in the world; and not even sure if we'll get an audience (or even, at this stage, exactly what we'll be putting on!!) - but if I want to, I can make it happen. Making things happen is a lot simpler (and a lot more work also!) than I used to think it was. Ideally, of course, I'd love to put my own work on, self-devised, and research it and all, but perhaps this is a goal for further down the track. I am a little worried that my goals at the moment are all quite short term - the long-term is hazy - but on the other hand, I am getting better at embracing the essential to all artists, 'uncertainty'. I have, though, wanted to write or self-devise a show (perhaps solo; but now perhaps with Dav, which could be very exciting!) for some time now, and yet have not even started. I don't feel like I've found the right inspiration or topic; or even know what it will be. But maybe I should just start... Do I want it to be a historical piece though, or an autobiographical piece? A drama or a comedy? Performance art or script? I don't know the answer to any of these things, and I do tend to get stuck (like with many things) in not being able to see the wood for the trees. Eventually I know I am going to have to bite the bullet and just start writing - or working. Working on the floor does seem to work better for me; although I think if I could just find a topic / person I could research and start with material about them (as I did with myself for my life story at VCA) and use this a spring-board, it might be somewhat more useful than starting from nowhere. I am reading the papers now at least - but I still have found nothing to really grab onto... sigh.
Don't know how this post suddenly became about my lack of inspiration for a show. Oh, that's right, it was roughly about setting myself goals. I realised today that some of my goals are quite strong and driving. For instance, I'm much better disciplined in my eating and exercise habits in the last year or so, and find it a lot easier as that is a do-able goal for me - to lose weight and look and feel my best. The physical comes, not easily, but tangibly. To find and maintain paid acting work is also a goal that I am fulfilling at the moment; as is to save to travel O/S. To study in NY and in Europe is a doable goal this year; and I mustn't forget my goal of jumping out of a plane for my 25th birthday! Perhaps in June!!! To perform at the fringe is now on the agenda also, although it may just end up being visiting to have a look this time around, but who knows. If we can somehow keep costs down, it's possible we can do a show while there as well... I keep thinking about S-J and Mark's show, "Kissy Kissy", and how fantastic it was, even though it was quite abstract and simply about a relationship that could never quite get there. Perhaps we could start there too...
Oh, and I should probably put, 'getting my tax done' on my definite list of goals for this year, before June!! Eek.
So much to do. And interestingly enough, this job, while having more down-time than any other job I've had, also manages to chew into ur energy, so that I tend to do not a lot on that down-time. On the up-side, it is well-paid, and I do still enjoy doing it, so it's something I think I could definitely return to if there's work for me here and I need it. I'd also like to try my hand at getting or making some of my own work similar - tour guiding and the like, elsewhere. John and I met a couple who do entertainment work out on the Whitsundaes today; that would be interesting work! Although I'm still not confident in my ability to create work myself; and a lot of that work seems to need singing ability. Better keep practicing that one! Sigh.
Meanwhile, I've worked pretty much every day straight since seeing D-boy off; and I'll probably work right through to the trip to Rocky. 25 days and counting - oh, not that I'm half-eager at all :) It's interesting returning to the work without Dav, and working so hard too - there's a real risk of the work becoming stale, that I've felt particularly in the last week. It's great to have Franz here though, as 'fresh blood' - I did a fantastic show with him tonight, or so I felt, and managed to find some really exciting new stuff with Shires, that re-ignited my desire to keep trying different things with each character. I think I need to be more radical also in my choices, just to stretch my own boundaries a bit more... tonight, just towards the end of the show, I organically found a different 'character' - largely in the physical, and it reminded me of Frank Woodley, randomly. I thought about trying Shires as something a bit more bumbling, caught between Porter and his desire to get them off the hanging, trying to convince Porter - smart in a simple kind of way. So he might appear quite clumsy / simple / honest; but come out with moments of brilliance. To keep looking for the juxtaposition within his character, there's an aim; and to keep looking for the juxtaposition between him and the much more sure-of-himself Mr Hoy. I also need to think about how to stretch Porter in similar (and different) directions... perhaps even just clarifying when he's disbelieving, and when he's actively trying to undermine Shires, and when he's just mucking around?
Very random thoughts, for a post in which I was going to describe my birthday trip!! Despite arranging it, I did NOT get my birthday off, as boat numbers rose and we're ridiculously under-staffed at the moment. I did 3 tours on the island; but then had the Stormbreaker (Trev's yacht) pick me up from the island and went all the way up the river with them, to Sir John's falls. I was excited about the change, and the chance to see parts of the river I hadn't before; however, the night itself wasn't much to talk of, as most of the travel I was either in the kitchen helping Gary (as I did feel obligated to); or it was too dark to see much. Gary did take us for a walk to find the glow-worms up at Sir John's falls - they are tiny little things, and I wonder what makes them glow? He also took me for a walk up to the Gordon Dam Commission hut, behind the falls, which was much prettier to walk in the morning. I didn't get fantastic sleep on the boat; but woke up early, about 5.30, and watched the sun rise over the Gordon. I dashed up to the falls and then down to the beach near the hut, which was definitely worth it just for the reflections of the slowly rising sun and clouds on the perfectly still early-morning water. The run back to Strahan definitely made the trip worth it; the yacht travels relatively slowly, and just glides through the water, especially on days like that one, when the reflections were amazing - the sunrise looked like an impressionist painting in the black water. Some of the rafters that we picked up were really lovely, and I had a long chat to a couple of them, mostly about Sarah Island, but it was kinda fun to realise how much I could give them in terms of information, and actually have ppl genuinely interested ask me questions (as opposed to simply deliver deliver deliver). That was, of course, after I'd climbed to the top of the mast (the only one on the boat to do so!) and sat up there as Lady Jane II sailed past (plenty of photos of me up the mast for the boss; if only I'd managed to keep one! I took one on my phone for evidence, but then washed my phone the other day and now have to buy a new one!!) and as we closed in on Sarah from the river. The trip in general reminded me that I NEED to buy a decent camera; so that has gone on my list of things to shop for while in Brisbane. A mobile phone can't wait til then though - I'll probably order it over the web via Telstra.
The other benefit of the trip back (apart from eating too much!!) was that I got a bit of sun - I'm slowly developing a tan, although it's far from even. I'm trying to get some sun-tanning done on my arvos on the island, although I haven't got any now for at least a week. So hopefully the good weather will last a little longer. I've been soaking up the heat in the last couple of weeks... I wasn't sure, when I got back from seeing Dav off and the weather was miserable, that I'd be able to stand the separation for 7 weeks with BAD weather as well... but I've been lucky and the weather has held. And now it's only just over 3 weeks to go... and yes, I AM counting :)
P.S. I am also the luckiest girl in the world, and got very spoiled for my birthday, by my favourite boy - who not only showered me with gifts, but also sent me a birthday video that made me cry. Thank you my beautiful boy, for making me feel special even in your absence.
Goals for this year:
* Travel O/S to America, UK, Europe and Asia
* Study the SITI summer course in NY (July / August)
* Visit and perform in the Edinburgh Fringe (August)
* Find theatre-related work in the UK and/or Europe
* Backpack with Dav through Europe
* Do a butoh course in Germany
* WOOF in Europe
* See theatre all over the world
* Jump out of a plane
* Take a hot air balloon flight
* Go skiing
* Visit Annabel, Katie, and Uncle George in UK
* Visit Erinn in Indonesia
* Apply for and commit to the Zen Zen Zo Internship
* Keep fit - get down to and maintain 56 kilos.
* Have my eyes lasered so I don't need glasses anymore!
* Learn how to play the guitar
* Learn how to sing in front of other people
* Write and perform my own solo show!!
Longer term goals (2008):
* Become an active member of the Zen Zen Zo ensemble
* Audition for QTC and La Boite
* Get an agent
* Record a voice demo and pursue voice-over work
* Complete GenAm courses
* Travel to LA for the pilot season (research required!)
* Gain further paid film / TV work
* Get at least one paying commercial
* Become qualified for and undertake corporate training as an alternative work source
* Look into children's party hosting; patient simulation; spruiking; voice-over; life modelling; tour guiding - as alternative work sources.
* Write and perform my own solo show!!
Big goals:
* Buy a house (possibly in Tasmania or Victoria)
* Pursue an ongoing working career in film and theatre.
* Cast in a major television drama
* Parts in mainstream feature films
* Work with the Malthouse and MTC
* Work with Bell Shakespeare and/or the Royal Shakespeare Company
* Continue to travel and work and create with D-boy.
* Write and perform my own solo show; and further work!!
For instance, only a week ago (just after my birthday), I realised that Dav and I could possibly perform at the Edinburgh Fringe... so instead of just thinking about it, I've started to look into it, and it might just work. I'm not sure what I'll get out of it, apart from a chance to perform in the largest fringe festival in the world; and not even sure if we'll get an audience (or even, at this stage, exactly what we'll be putting on!!) - but if I want to, I can make it happen. Making things happen is a lot simpler (and a lot more work also!) than I used to think it was. Ideally, of course, I'd love to put my own work on, self-devised, and research it and all, but perhaps this is a goal for further down the track. I am a little worried that my goals at the moment are all quite short term - the long-term is hazy - but on the other hand, I am getting better at embracing the essential to all artists, 'uncertainty'. I have, though, wanted to write or self-devise a show (perhaps solo; but now perhaps with Dav, which could be very exciting!) for some time now, and yet have not even started. I don't feel like I've found the right inspiration or topic; or even know what it will be. But maybe I should just start... Do I want it to be a historical piece though, or an autobiographical piece? A drama or a comedy? Performance art or script? I don't know the answer to any of these things, and I do tend to get stuck (like with many things) in not being able to see the wood for the trees. Eventually I know I am going to have to bite the bullet and just start writing - or working. Working on the floor does seem to work better for me; although I think if I could just find a topic / person I could research and start with material about them (as I did with myself for my life story at VCA) and use this a spring-board, it might be somewhat more useful than starting from nowhere. I am reading the papers now at least - but I still have found nothing to really grab onto... sigh.
Don't know how this post suddenly became about my lack of inspiration for a show. Oh, that's right, it was roughly about setting myself goals. I realised today that some of my goals are quite strong and driving. For instance, I'm much better disciplined in my eating and exercise habits in the last year or so, and find it a lot easier as that is a do-able goal for me - to lose weight and look and feel my best. The physical comes, not easily, but tangibly. To find and maintain paid acting work is also a goal that I am fulfilling at the moment; as is to save to travel O/S. To study in NY and in Europe is a doable goal this year; and I mustn't forget my goal of jumping out of a plane for my 25th birthday! Perhaps in June!!! To perform at the fringe is now on the agenda also, although it may just end up being visiting to have a look this time around, but who knows. If we can somehow keep costs down, it's possible we can do a show while there as well... I keep thinking about S-J and Mark's show, "Kissy Kissy", and how fantastic it was, even though it was quite abstract and simply about a relationship that could never quite get there. Perhaps we could start there too...
Oh, and I should probably put, 'getting my tax done' on my definite list of goals for this year, before June!! Eek.
So much to do. And interestingly enough, this job, while having more down-time than any other job I've had, also manages to chew into ur energy, so that I tend to do not a lot on that down-time. On the up-side, it is well-paid, and I do still enjoy doing it, so it's something I think I could definitely return to if there's work for me here and I need it. I'd also like to try my hand at getting or making some of my own work similar - tour guiding and the like, elsewhere. John and I met a couple who do entertainment work out on the Whitsundaes today; that would be interesting work! Although I'm still not confident in my ability to create work myself; and a lot of that work seems to need singing ability. Better keep practicing that one! Sigh.
Meanwhile, I've worked pretty much every day straight since seeing D-boy off; and I'll probably work right through to the trip to Rocky. 25 days and counting - oh, not that I'm half-eager at all :) It's interesting returning to the work without Dav, and working so hard too - there's a real risk of the work becoming stale, that I've felt particularly in the last week. It's great to have Franz here though, as 'fresh blood' - I did a fantastic show with him tonight, or so I felt, and managed to find some really exciting new stuff with Shires, that re-ignited my desire to keep trying different things with each character. I think I need to be more radical also in my choices, just to stretch my own boundaries a bit more... tonight, just towards the end of the show, I organically found a different 'character' - largely in the physical, and it reminded me of Frank Woodley, randomly. I thought about trying Shires as something a bit more bumbling, caught between Porter and his desire to get them off the hanging, trying to convince Porter - smart in a simple kind of way. So he might appear quite clumsy / simple / honest; but come out with moments of brilliance. To keep looking for the juxtaposition within his character, there's an aim; and to keep looking for the juxtaposition between him and the much more sure-of-himself Mr Hoy. I also need to think about how to stretch Porter in similar (and different) directions... perhaps even just clarifying when he's disbelieving, and when he's actively trying to undermine Shires, and when he's just mucking around?
Very random thoughts, for a post in which I was going to describe my birthday trip!! Despite arranging it, I did NOT get my birthday off, as boat numbers rose and we're ridiculously under-staffed at the moment. I did 3 tours on the island; but then had the Stormbreaker (Trev's yacht) pick me up from the island and went all the way up the river with them, to Sir John's falls. I was excited about the change, and the chance to see parts of the river I hadn't before; however, the night itself wasn't much to talk of, as most of the travel I was either in the kitchen helping Gary (as I did feel obligated to); or it was too dark to see much. Gary did take us for a walk to find the glow-worms up at Sir John's falls - they are tiny little things, and I wonder what makes them glow? He also took me for a walk up to the Gordon Dam Commission hut, behind the falls, which was much prettier to walk in the morning. I didn't get fantastic sleep on the boat; but woke up early, about 5.30, and watched the sun rise over the Gordon. I dashed up to the falls and then down to the beach near the hut, which was definitely worth it just for the reflections of the slowly rising sun and clouds on the perfectly still early-morning water. The run back to Strahan definitely made the trip worth it; the yacht travels relatively slowly, and just glides through the water, especially on days like that one, when the reflections were amazing - the sunrise looked like an impressionist painting in the black water. Some of the rafters that we picked up were really lovely, and I had a long chat to a couple of them, mostly about Sarah Island, but it was kinda fun to realise how much I could give them in terms of information, and actually have ppl genuinely interested ask me questions (as opposed to simply deliver deliver deliver). That was, of course, after I'd climbed to the top of the mast (the only one on the boat to do so!) and sat up there as Lady Jane II sailed past (plenty of photos of me up the mast for the boss; if only I'd managed to keep one! I took one on my phone for evidence, but then washed my phone the other day and now have to buy a new one!!) and as we closed in on Sarah from the river. The trip in general reminded me that I NEED to buy a decent camera; so that has gone on my list of things to shop for while in Brisbane. A mobile phone can't wait til then though - I'll probably order it over the web via Telstra.
The other benefit of the trip back (apart from eating too much!!) was that I got a bit of sun - I'm slowly developing a tan, although it's far from even. I'm trying to get some sun-tanning done on my arvos on the island, although I haven't got any now for at least a week. So hopefully the good weather will last a little longer. I've been soaking up the heat in the last couple of weeks... I wasn't sure, when I got back from seeing Dav off and the weather was miserable, that I'd be able to stand the separation for 7 weeks with BAD weather as well... but I've been lucky and the weather has held. And now it's only just over 3 weeks to go... and yes, I AM counting :)
P.S. I am also the luckiest girl in the world, and got very spoiled for my birthday, by my favourite boy - who not only showered me with gifts, but also sent me a birthday video that made me cry. Thank you my beautiful boy, for making me feel special even in your absence.
Goals for this year:
* Travel O/S to America, UK, Europe and Asia
* Study the SITI summer course in NY (July / August)
* Visit and perform in the Edinburgh Fringe (August)
* Find theatre-related work in the UK and/or Europe
* Backpack with Dav through Europe
* Do a butoh course in Germany
* WOOF in Europe
* See theatre all over the world
* Jump out of a plane
* Take a hot air balloon flight
* Go skiing
* Visit Annabel, Katie, and Uncle George in UK
* Visit Erinn in Indonesia
* Apply for and commit to the Zen Zen Zo Internship
* Keep fit - get down to and maintain 56 kilos.
* Have my eyes lasered so I don't need glasses anymore!
* Learn how to play the guitar
* Learn how to sing in front of other people
* Write and perform my own solo show!!
Longer term goals (2008):
* Become an active member of the Zen Zen Zo ensemble
* Audition for QTC and La Boite
* Get an agent
* Record a voice demo and pursue voice-over work
* Complete GenAm courses
* Travel to LA for the pilot season (research required!)
* Gain further paid film / TV work
* Get at least one paying commercial
* Become qualified for and undertake corporate training as an alternative work source
* Look into children's party hosting; patient simulation; spruiking; voice-over; life modelling; tour guiding - as alternative work sources.
* Write and perform my own solo show!!
Big goals:
* Buy a house (possibly in Tasmania or Victoria)
* Pursue an ongoing working career in film and theatre.
* Cast in a major television drama
* Parts in mainstream feature films
* Work with the Malthouse and MTC
* Work with Bell Shakespeare and/or the Royal Shakespeare Company
* Continue to travel and work and create with D-boy.
* Write and perform my own solo show; and further work!!
posted by Franki | 1:45 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home